Kokomo

Once every seventeen months and four seconds, the celestial beings that control the cosmos unleash a bolt of astral brilliance destined to bring wisdom, power and everlasting glory to its intended recipient. Today, at approximately 22:17 GMT, Sister Juanta Maria de Salvador de los Marientos of the Order of the Holy Cool Dorito Convent School in Choluteca (Honduras) felt an all-consuming radiance as she was filled with the magnitude of her life-fulfilling prophecy. She was to revolutionalise the printing of wax-embossed long-sleeve t-shirts in Central American sweatshops and make a name for herself alongside Messrs. Fitch, Abercrombie and Banana Republic in the world of designer fashion.

Meanwhile, in The Fox pub opposite Putney Railway Station in South West London, at the Monday quiz night, Tim and Marc were about to feel the brute force of the tail end of this comet and its little known side effect of provoking what would go down in history as POTENTIALLY THE DUMBEST QUIZ ANSWER. EVER. SERIOUSLY.

Having had less success in the first round than a three-legged leprous chihuahua at the Cruft's Dog Show, we had managed to claw our way back into contention with a sizzlingly hot streak of 21 correct answers out of 24. With the pressure and tension of success suddenly within reach, we found ourselves confronted with question 36, a picture round question depicting five fresh-faced young whippersnappers and the question: name their first UK Number 1 hit

We pondered and cogitated, debated and speculated, until a flash of inspiration entered my soul and took my hand reassuringly.

Marc: hey, doesn't that look like Matthew Broderick?
Tim: yes, but a chubby Matthew Broderick.
Marc: hmmm, but he wasn't even in a band, can't be him.

*** Cogs grinding and whirring ***

Marc: that looks like Mark Wahlberg!
Tim: then that must be the Funky Bunch!
Marc: hold on, they weren't famous, it was just him. They wouldn't be in the picture.
Tim: and he only had one song, can't be him.
Marc: then it must be Donnie, it must be his brother, it must be...
Tim: NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!
Marc: yes! Got it! Then it must be...
Tim: Hanging Tough!
Marc: *sings* Oh-oh-oh-ho, oh-oh-oh-ho, the right stuff, shit that's the wrong one...
Tim: never mind, at least we got it!

FFWD 24 MINUTES

Quizmaster: OK guys, that was a toughie, well done to those who got it. Next, Question 36, the first UK Number 1 Hit of the Beach Boys was...

Ouch.