... Tzzzer Phut Phut Kergrrrr Zzzummrurrg.....

... is as accurate a description as I can come up with for the sound of the propeller engines on Tuk-Tuk Airways' flight DoNotPassGoButPloughStraightIntoThatColdBalticLake 747 descent into Vilnius.

Quite what I was expecting for £37,50 between Tallinn and Vilnius on Golden Air,

*** PAUSE ***

Yes that was Golden Air.

, I do not know, put the pilot put on the finest aeronautical impression of a Disney-on-Ice meets Grand Theft Auto 4 landing. It truly was like a Commodore 64 flight simulator with a broken PowerShot 2 Joystick.

I had not been expecting quite such an entertaining landing, but it was perhaps fitting given the way I left this city the last time I was fortunate enough to grace it.

Flashback to rented apartment (£11 per night, not even per person, just per night) in January 2003 with Fabian, having just returned at 11am from a drive to a petrol station 14 miles out of Vilnius after an all-night bender with a brother and sister drinking machine team. The brother downs 0,5l of neat vodka from the bottle, the sister finishes it off, and the landlady calls the police for our flagrant abuse of rental regulations (ie not drinking pure gasoline).

Boy am I glad to be back here, and boy am I glad I am staying two extra nights... Unfinished business, bring it on!